I wake up on Sunday mornings and the first thing I do is cook turkey burgers… nice, thick, juicy (surprisingly!) turkey burgers with garlic, basil, red pepper flakes and some feta. I get them going on my big stationary skillet, then I boil my brown rice and in one hour I have a delicious, 310 calorie, high protein lunch for every day of the week! Meal prep at its finest!
Then I wash all those dishes, and get started on cakes. I bake nearly 4 cakes a weekend, some to use right away and some to freeze for upcoming events. Cherry cake made with fresh maraschino cherries… or double chocolate cake with pudding in the recipe so it comes out so moist it’s sinful… If I have to make cake balls, or cookies, I use my weekends. It’s therapy. Free therapy.
I’ll admit it. I am a walking contradiction. An oxymoron. I know it. I count my calories, shoot for a perfect protein/carb/fat ratio diet every day, and I don’t stray from it Monday through Friday (ok maybe the occasional Reese’s PB cup but when your coworkers have jars of them on their desks it’s hard to always say no) but I eat super clean all day, and then at night I’m baking cakes and drizzling things in chocolate and filling the kitchen with the most unhealthy foods, because I love to create desserts. Do I test them? Sometimes.. but I’ve had enough cake pops to know what they taste like. I can create all the unhealthy food my heart desires, but I don’t have to eat it. Most of it I don’t, but some if it I do…because life is about balance.
Balance. I balance well… work with play, relationships with alone time… and I balance what I need with what I want. Oh and I balance on one leg. Sometimes I balance on my forearm, leg in the air. I am working towards balancing on my head. Balance, Balance, Balance. It’s everything yoga is teaching me. I wandered into the studio last May and had no idea what I was in for, but that class sparked something inside of me that I think was always there but never surfaced. A sort of, mental being. A voice. It has changed me. The physical part is hard… no one enjoys pigeon.. if you were naturally born with flexible hips that can get you into a flat split, congratulations! That’s not me though.. but I am getting there. Yes it hurts but the mental part is tougher. To tell yourself that you are going to stay in this pose, body wobbling around, in a 95 degree room.. to tell yourself your body is strong and this will better you… to set an intention for your practice at the beginning, holding on to it for 1 ½ hours, then leaving the room and carrying that intention with you.. is exhausting. But I am learning the balance of life through it, and I am so thankful for it.
So that is why I don’t find my lifestyle weird, despite how others view me. Hypocritical is not the word (I’ve been called that). I am simply balanced. I don’t SAY I eat healthy then make a ton of desserts and chow them down. I actually eat super healthy and stay that way until I have a stressful day and need a friggen piece of cake. Or a glass of wine. Or hell, both! And that’s ok, because you need to treat yourself. So I will go on making beautiful little cakes filled with calories and fat, and burn just that off my body at the gym and yoga, not gaining weight, only self-enrichment and empowerment.
-Elena
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